Has football season started? I hadn’t noticed. But anyway, let’s talk soccer. You’ll notice I made no mention (until now) of yesterday’s Manchester United/Liverpool match; that’s because videos of Dimitar Berbatov’s hat trick disappeared from YouTube faster than Liverpool’s title aspirations. So I’ll post something entirely different: totally unsubstantiated rumours of Cristiano Ronaldo returning to Old Trafford! A Manchester United blog called the Stretford End claims: “I was told by an insider at Old Trafford, ‘[Sir] Alex [Ferguson, not “Mister Ferguson” as an obsessed and deposed former adversary would call him during fits of pique] wants Ronaldo back, no question. He’s in regular contact with him and is giving him support but is actually hoping Madrid have a poor year and win nothing so the fans get on his back and Cristiano gets disillusioned. He has left the door open for Cristiano to give him a call at any time.” Inside information? That’s never wrong or misleading! And even if it is I don’t care: just the thought of Ronaldo returning to Manchester United’s enough to distract me from the plight of another team whose season’s threatening to derail before it’s even allowed to really begin.
Not that I have any idea who I’m talking about. Maybe the Leafs?