Back when I got rolling on this crazy adventure I wrote, more in hope than in expectation, “Just so we’re clear, I’m not beyond accepting donations with strings attached…so if, for instance, your $50 means I’ll have to wear a Liverpool F.C. replica kit for one of my practice rides, I’ll do it.” I should’ve known a few people would take that statement to heart. Well, at least one of you has.
I now have in my possession an Ottawa Senators jersey. It isn’t mine, obviously—but it’s in my house, which is bad enough. And in the next little while I’m going to wear it on a 5km run through the middle of downtown Calgary.
Oh, and I’ll be wearing a clown wig as well.
I’ve been offered a lot of money to do this—which is only fair, since I utterly despise the Ottawa Senators. (If I were ranking my most hated sports teams they’d easily top the list, ahead of Liverpool, the Green Bay Packers and the Montreal Canadiens.) I’ve been offered an additional $50 to stop by Flames Central—a theme bar owned and operated by the Calgary Flames and decorated almost exclusively in Flames paraphernalia—and shout, “I love Mike Fisher!” I’m starting to think this might be worth more than $50…but still, I’m toying with the idea. This foray should underscore my willingness to do just about anything in my attempt to raise $2,500. (Meanwhile, my coworkers, bless them, are hatching a scheme in which cross-dressing and/or pie-throwing would be prominently involved. I’ll let your minds wander.) So: if you feel like levying a strings-attached donation, here’s unequivocal proof that I’ll go for it (and, while we’re at it, if you want to tack anything on to this Senators scheme feel free to do so). By the way, thanks to a recent mystery donation I’ve broken the 70% fundraising barrier. Thank you so much, everyone! And hey: if you’re in Calgary and you me running down Stephen Avenue in a gigantic Sens jersey with “#11 – ALFREDSSON” on the back, give me a honk. Please.