2008 has struck again: tonight, I rear-ended a brand-new truck after hitting a patch of ice in a parking lot. Miraculously, my bumper only contacted his trailer hitch; the only damage was a scuff mark barely visible to the naked eye. Predictably, the other guy was a total asshole. As soon as he uttered his first sentence–“I just bought this truck!”–I knew I was doomed. Sure enough, he took down my name and phone number (and license plate number, when he thought I wasn’t looking), said “this’ll need to be fixed”, got back in his truck and drove away.
And I mean: come on. I’m sorry you needed to buy a big-ass truck to compensate for an undersized penis…but when it’s -43, when you’re in a parking lot and when you yourself had trouble stopping your own vehicle, surely you can have a little sympathy for the guy behind you. Two years ago, a sixteen year-old hit me in a parking lot…and I let him go. If you needed further evidence that karma really is a bitch, look no further. Aren’t you glad you’ve got me in your life?