Ottawa 8, Toronto 0. Could be higher, for all I know–I’ve actually stopped watching, possibly the first time I’ve ever deliberately stopped watching a Leaf game before it’s finished. Things got so bad that the Leafs actually pulled Ed Belfour, who single-handedly beat the Senators in the 2004 playoffs, in favour of Mikael Tellqvist, who acquitted himself admirably until the middle of the third period. (I can only imagine the kinds of reactions this will generate over at the TMLfans.ca message board…I mean, half the people who post on it are crazier than Crazy Joe Davolla to begin with, so an 8-0 loss to the Senators can’t be good for business.) I don’t even know where to begin; usually in blowouts an optimistic fan can locate something positive, but apart from “well, the Leafs put some good pressure on the Sens’ defence during a random second period powerplay” I can’t take much away from this one. As for the Senators, I’m terrified of them: Dany Heatley is rejuvenated, Chris Neil is apparently a sniper in this “new” NHL, Donimik Hasek still seems like he’s one bad hit away from going on a province-wide killing spree yet isn’t allowing goals…if you think I’m relishing the thought of facing Ottawa in the playoffs you’re sadly mistaken. Tonight, I was thinking about the old Little League video game, where they’d call the game after a team took a ten-run lead; since the NHL is currently rewriting its entire rule book, couldn’t they throw in the mercy rule for good measure and then invoke it during these sorts of games?
This day was already bad enough, at least from a sporting perspective: this morning, Manchester United lost 4-1 to Middlesborough. I actually can’t remember the last time United conceded four goals in a single game. (Wait: that’s not true. In February 2004 they lost 4-1 away to Manchester City; I remember this because my dad called me after the game to vent, then casually mentioned that they’d put the dog to sleep. Good times. And yet I digress.) Tomorrow, meanwhile, the Minnesota Vikings play at Carolina, which has the potential to be the most lopsided football game since the West Canaan Coyotes played after their night at the rippers. I can’t handle it anymore…honestly, why did I get cursed with these teams of mine?