Opening Up The Archives

Another one from the vault–this one a rant that I wrote for Dr. Geoff Smith’s PHED 475 class during my glorious victory lap at Queen’s University. One of the assignments was to write a “publication” on a sports-related issue; I put “publication” in quotation marks because mine has never, until today, seen the light of day, yet I’m pretty sure I got at least an 80% on it. I’ve never pretended to be an expert on hockey…and that said, I can’t believe how prescient I was. And yes, this is another very deliberate attempt at bailing the Senators fans who read this blog–much like Talia’s MSN name is a very deliberate attempt at eliciting this sort of mature response from me.

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The furor over Todd Bertuzzi and his already legendary sucker punch to the side of Steve Moore’s head proved once and for all that Canadians care too much–far too much–about hockey. Isn’t there a point where enough is enough is enough? Well, apparently not, because Ottawa city council yesterday, in what is surely one of the strangest attempts at fostering civic pride in Canadian history, made it “illegal” for people to wear Toronto Maple Leaf paraphernalia into the Corel Centre, where the Ottawa Senators have been surprisingly charitable hosts to the Leafs over the last few seasons. Not “illegal” in that they’ll kick you out of the arena for wearing the blue and white; instead, violators will be asked to make a donation to a local food bank.

I couldn’t make this up if I tried: it is now a punishable offence for me to wear a Maple Leaf sweater into the Corel Centre. (And donating to a food back is a great cause–you’d just think there was a better way of inspiring such benevolence in people.) This is the dumbest thing I’ve heard of in a long, long time–but since that seems an obvious point, I won’t dwell on it. Instead, let me ask you this question: doesn’t Ottawa’s city council have anything better to do with its time? Aren’t there much more pressing social and economic concerns in our nation’s capital than what people are wearing to NHL games? Isn’t there a more positive way of reinforcing civic pride than outlawing the Maple Leaf logo? I’m going to venture a tentative “yes” on all fronts. I mean, I don’t live in Ottawa and, thus, don’t presume to think I’ve got my finger on the city’s pulse…but is Ottawa really so preoccupied with Toronto and so obsessed with beating the Maple Leafs that they’ll actually waste taxpayers’ time and money debating an issue such as this?

This whole incident has left me bemused. Maybe I’d understand it better if I lived in Ottawa and were cheering for the Senators teams that bowed out to the Maple Leafs in the 2000, 2001 and 2002 playoffs. Actually, if I’d have been a Senators fan in 2002, when the team somehow lost a 3-2 series lead to an outmanned and outgunned Maple Leaf side before totally and utterly collapsing in the series’ seventh and deciding game, maybe I’d be pushing for a civic ban on Maple Leaf paraphernalia, as well–it might be the only way I’d ever forget the agony of that defeat. As this year’s NHL campaign has unfolded, meanwhile, I’ve come to a realization: that no matter how well the Senators do in the regular season, no matter if they finish above or below the Maple Leafs, theirs isn’t a team that can compete with the tough, veteran squad the Leafs have assembled this season–certainly not in the playoffs, at any rate. The shocking 5-4 Maple Leaf win at the Corel Centre in February only confirmed what most of us already knew: that the Senators, who are a very, very good regular season hockey team, once again just aren’t equipped to deal with the Maple Leafs come April.

So go ahead, Ottawa: ban us from wearing our team’s colours into the pastel coloured walls of your ugly, suburban eyesore of a rink. When your team’s lack of grit and reliable goaltending is exposed in an early round of this year’s playoffs, you’ll wish you affixed notions of a civic pride to a more reliable institution than the Ottawa Senators. It’s all well and good to love your hometown, but when your civic identity is wrapped up in a mediocre hockey team your efforts would best be served elsewhere. Oh, and for the record, tomorrow night I’m going to the Corel Centre to see the Senators take on another very, very good hockey team, the Colorado Avalanche. The Leafs will be down in Philadelphia playing the Flyers, but if you don’t think I’ll be wearing my Maple Leafs sweater into Ottawa with my head held high you are very, very much mistaken. And yes, I’ll bring a few non-perishable food items to the game with me–just in case.

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Alright, fine: in retrospect, I overreacted. But when I dug up this piece, I was startled with how prophetic it actually was. A month later, the Leafs eliminated the Senators from the playoffs for the fourth time in five years. In Game 7, with the series on the line, goaltender Patrick Lalime conceded two of the softest goals you’ll ever see scored in a playoff game; his mistakes expedited his departure from Ottawa (he was later traded to St. Louis), exacerbated Jacques Martin’s inability to beat Toronto when it actually counted (he’s now the head coach of the Florida Panthers) and ensured that subsequent editions of the Ottawa Senators would have to add some serious grit if they wanted to make any sort of noise in the playoffs. So take heart, Senators fans: your most recent playoff embarassment might actually have been exactly what your team needed. In the meantime, I have absolutely no trouble posting stuff like this on my blog. (Someday, this is going to catch up with me; when it does, I’ll gladly take whatever punishment comes my way. After all, even if Ottawa were to beat Toronto in the playoffs this year, they’d still have at least three years to go before they got even.)