Dream Baby Dream…Sorta

Tonight, in the midst of a downloading binge, I went searching for a copy of “Dream Baby Dream” by the band Suicide (Bruce Springsteen is currently playing it to close his Devils & Dust acoustic shows). And sure, I found the song I was looking for–it is currently downloading at 1KB/second–but I also came across a slew of (I’m presuming here) unrelated files. Among others:

  • “Dream Girls Sexy Centerfolds Jennifer Brock, Jasmine Melatti, And Deanna Merryman Nude”
  • “Sexy Dream Babe Two Pages Of This Hottie Getting Naked In Her Bedroom – Porn Movie – interracial porn free porn movie clip porn filter black porn porn photo”
  • “Dream Teens In Public”
  • “Lingerie Teen Dream 2 Pages Of This 18 Year Old Babe Taking Off Her Lingerie”
  • “Ambers [sic] Amateur Dream 2 Spiffy Pages Of This Blonde Amateur In Various Poses” (since when is porn “spiffy”, by the way?)

And so on. I don’t mind getting other, random mp3s by accident–hey, I could understand how “Shakalaka Baby” by Bombay Dreams could pop up, instead. But lesbian porn? Dream girls? Two spiffy pages of an amateur in various poses? Can’t somebody at Limewire figure out a way to fix this? Actually, the use of the word “fix” gave me an idea: I went back to Limewire and did a search for the Coldplay song “Fix You”, and came across a file entited–I’m not making this up–“Give up the day job and make money in your sleep with this action guide on how to really score with affiliate marketing, free ebook.” You’ll note that the word “fix” doesn’t appear in any way, shape or form…but no matter. In fact, since I have nothing better to do at 11:20 this particular Thursday, here’s what searches for random other songs brought me:

  • “Blowin’ in the Wind” (in retrospect, I should have avoided this one): “whore getting abused by 2 guys hidden cam (blowin in the wind)”
  • “Paradise City”: “Teen Paradise Two Sexy Teen Hotties Getting Naked Over Here”
  • “Who Will Stop the Rain?”: “They Sure Had To Pee Spiffy Shots Of Two Girls Who Had to Piss Real Bad” (that word again!)
  • “Even Flow”: nothing unbecoming whatsoever
  • “Sympathy for the Devil”: “rate my anal spray — it’s 6 feet of feces (sympathy for the devil)”

How on earth did I ever miss that corollary? By the way, it doesn’t work the way around; seriously, who wants their porn surfing interrupted by a stray mp3? It’s times like these when paying $20 for a CD doesn’t seem so bad after all.

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