Survey Says…

Last week, during Tommy Day, I spent hours doing Google searches for Tommy-related paraphenalia: websites, photographs, reviews, bootlegs…you name it, and chances are I searched for it. During the course of all this I stumbled across the following survey; seeing as I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to procrastinate, here it is (albeit with my answers, and not the original ones…although part of me wanted to eschew my own answers and instead analyze the originals–they’re seriously brilliant):

what time is it? 4:47pm
full name: Stephen Nathaniel Johns
age: 24
height: 6’0″
weight: 155 lbs.
eye color: Green
hair color: Brown
skin color: White
birthday: August 16, 1980
birthstone/sign: Don’t know/Leo
makeup or none?: None…well, unless I’m dressing up as the fabulous diva Miss Stephanie Johns. Then I make myself up like Liza Minelli in Cararet
nationality: Canadian
school: At present, the University of Toronto

devil or angel: More angel than devil
confrontational or let things slide: Let things slide, then bitch about them for a year
introverted or extroverted: A little bit of both
aloof or concentrated: Uh…concentrated, I guess?
are you one to take things seriously: Yes
very analyctical of what others say: To a fault
do you think before you act: Excessively so
serious or comedic: Comedic
selfish or selfless: Selfless
do you consider yourself to be honest? For the most part, yes
describe yourself: Something like this.
how does your girlfriend/boyfriend feel about you?: She says she loves me, and I know that can’t be bad
how do you feel about yourself?: Generally very positive
describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?: Big-headed, big-hearted and gorgeous
what would you rather be doing?: Anything–absolutely anything
describe where you live?: The world’s most multicultural city; also, the world’s biggest outdoor sauna, except we haven’t been given those tree branches which which the Finns beat one another before jumpping into frozen lakes…so that sucks
describe how you love?: Too much head, not enough heart–but I’m working on it
have a good sense of humor?: I like to think so
what did you have for breakfast this morning?: The Usual
what are you looking forward to?: Finishing this Godforsaken essay, then following Pearl Jam around Ontario and parts of Quebec
any major flaws?: Me? flawed? Nooooo.

movie: Fargo
television show: Seinfeld
Pearl Jam
actor: Tom Cruise
actress: Katie Holmes
food: Hoito pancakes, Sven and Ole’s pizza, #44 at Pho Hung and tortellini from Boston Pizza
ice cream flavor: Vanilla
song: Bruce Springsteen, “Jungleland”
book: Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
number: 666, the number of the beast
color: Blue
store: Anywhere that sells Nike products, apparently
animal: Cocker Spaniel
scent: Gasoline
album: The Smashing Pumpkins, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
movie soundtrack: Singles
t-shirt quote: “LADIES IS PIMPS TOO”
holiday: Christmas
school subject: I don’t know–but I can guarantee you it’s not history
random thing: Norman Rockwell-related art
thing to do on the ‘net: Procrastinate
thing to say: “[Insert superlative here]!”
car: Volkswagen Jetta
favorite childhood memory?: Getting tickets for The Phantom of the Opera for my thirteenth birthday
favorite vacation?: My first trip to New York City

this or that_______x
pepsi/coke: Either…I mean, it’s not like I’m going to not drink one or the other
cat/dog: Dog–because cats sucks
real/fake: I’m a theatre kid, so…fake
lust/love: Lust as a product of love
tv/movies: Movies
hug/kiss: Kiss
love/be loved: Love
dark/light: Light
hot/cold: Cold…seriously, have you been to Toronto this summer??
silver/gold: Silver
taking pics/pics taken: Both
blonde/brunette: Brunette–my track record speaks for itself
good/evil: Evil…because it lives in the motherfucking skin (ha!)
sweet/sour: Sweet and Sour!
dl’ing music/buying music: Buying music
indoors/outdoors: Outdoors
left/right: Left
living for the moment/future: Future
cell phone/regular phone: Regular phone

are you popular? I suppose…
number of close friends? Am I supposed to know this?
friend you talk to the most? Paul
friend you see the least? Paul
friend you see the most? Jamie
friend who goes to you for advice? Laura Schaefer
ever made out with a friend? Does a girlfriend count as a friend? If so, then yes.
best friend: You
funniest friend:
dumbest friend:
ditziest friend: Angie
most unfortunate friend: Tim Jebb (Packers fan, Liverpool supporter…among other reasons)
smartest friend: Tie between Kate Neville and Heather Johnson
quietest friend: Jamie
loudest friend: Kylee Childs
longest lasting friend: Brian Bevilacqua
prettiest friend: Paul
cutest friend: Paul
hottest friend: Paul

what’s the worst memory of your life: Cancer was a bitch…
do you have any siblings: Nope
the funniest or most disgusting thing you had to do in a game of truth or dare: Not sure…
do you like your name:
what are your favorite boys/girls names: David/Victoria, Alison, Heather, Mallory, Nicole…
when you dream, do you see yourself, or do you see through your own eyes: I see through my own eyes (note: this is a very good survey question)
do you have any phobias: Black-and-yellow stripes insects
does glitter make you sick: No, it makes me FANTAAAAAASTIC!
do you consider yourself to be a very sexual person: Sometimes
what kind of shampoo / conditioner do you use: Whatever I use
what kind of body wash do you use: Again, whatever I use–I don’t keep track of these things
do you consider yourself to be spoiled: Sometimes, but for the most part no
what is your religion? I was raised in a Baptist church, but if religion and I are ever going to succeed I’ll need to find a less fundamentalist denomination
are you a big music freak:
Big time
do you believe in love at first sight: No–because love is a process, not an impulse
do you believe love can only happen once in a lifetime: No
do you believe in evolution: To a certain extent
is there anything you really hate: Narrow-mindedness
what are your views on plastic surgery: Hard?
what are your views on drugs and alcohol: Ask your mom or ask your dad
are you down with the spongebob craze: Isn’t he gay?
do you have any collections: Sort of…
name a place you visit often: Kingston
do you think you’re hot: Yeah, baby!
do you have any piercings: No
do you want any piercings: No
what are your views on piercings: Uh…pass.
do you have a tattoo: No
do you want one or another one: Ask me again when England wins its next major international football tournament
share a few words of wisdom?: You’re asking the wrong person…
how often do you spend time online: This is poor grammar.
do you get along with your parents: Yup; in fact, I still live with them!
how was your childhood: Great, except for the cancer
are you an only child?: I’ve already answered this question…
pets?: Father named Ian
feeling on politics: Left wing
like hippies?: Ask Kate Neville
like thugs?: Like to laugh at them…which means I’m living in the right place
like Punk rockers?: Depends on how snobbish we’re talking
like hXcers?: Whaaa?
like metal heads?: They’re almost my people!
like ravers?: I love the one raver I know…
like posers: No
like goths: Again, like to laugh at them
like hicks?: No
like racist people: If I said “no” I’d be hating on some of my friends/family members, so…yes?
like Nazis?: Who doesn’t like Nazis??
like preps: Preps like me?
are you a virgin: No
how’s the weather?: Lemme check…[*Steve turns around for the first time in an hour*]…overcast.
do you like living: Yes (“I like being alive! I like being alive!”)
what do you want to be: Rich, famous, successful…and happy
how was your day: Good so far, thanks for asking
what are you wearing: All Nike attire–shorts, shirt, LIVESTRONG bracelet
doing anything later: Nope
tomorrow?: Nope
ever try to commit suicide: No

have you ever____x
been in love? Still am
kissed the same sex?
seen your favorite band live? Twelve times and counting
taken any kind of lessons?
Yes–piano, golf, swimming…the list goes on.
won any contests? I once won a pair of Reebok Pumps from Crayola
cussed out your mom/dad? No…do people actually do this??
looked at the stars with a loved one? No
wanted to kill someone? Probably
killed someone? Yes
hated someone? Sort of
cheated on someone? Depends on your defintion of cheating

one, neither, or both____x
mom or dad: Both
girl or boy: Girl
gun or knife: Knife
deaf or blind: Dumb!
penis or vagina: Which do you suppose…
blood or boogers: Uh…
eyes or toes:
This is getting ridiculous…
boobs or butts: Uh…these!
tongue or lip rings: Neither
nipple or nose rings: Nose studs can be sexy
green or blue eyes: Green…like mine
punk or thug: Punk
broken jaw or nose: Neither–what the fuck??
date same or opposite sex: Opposite

first thing that comes to mind__x
fish: Yum
fat: Me
roast Beef: Yum
school: Ugh…
asshole: Opinion
poser: Chad Kroeger
slut: Me
funk: George Clinton
drums: Matt Cameron
blood: “It’s my bloooood!”
dead: Man Walking
president Bush: Poland
America: Thank goodness I don’t live there
cactus: Sarah Fleming
peach: Georgia


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