Denied?

Today epitomized the word “unproductive”. I’ve spent the past eight hours waiting–just waiting–for a wave of motivation to come crashing over me and propel me onwards and upwards in my preparation work for the two presentations I’ve got coming up. As of 10:32, it hasn’t come…and apart from marking four papers and forcing myself to read the introduction of a book that might convince me to start drinking again, I’ve been shockingly lazy today. But at least now I have an excuse: I just found out (or at least I think I did) that I got rejected from teacher’s college. At York.

Now…okay. I know university admission is an imprecise science; the three years I spent working in university administration certainly demontrated that to me on a fairly regular basis. And I know that getting into teacher’s college is competitive and that a lot of similarly qualified applicants won’t be getting in, either. (Not that I know for sure that I didn’t get in, since my OUAC profile has yet to be updated. But when I went to York’s website and checked up on my admission status I was met with a “Status: Not Eligible”. Again, I don’t know if this is official or not…but I’m assuming it’s not good.) But frankly, this has me at a loss. I hold a four-year degree, I graduated with First Class Standing, I had a solid “A” average in my final ten undergraduate credits, I’m working towards a master’s degree, I’ve been involved in a tonne of relevant experiences, I nailed my interview to the wall…and it would appear to have gotten me nothing, at least from York, apart from a stark “Not Eligible” notice on the school’s website. Again, I know a lot of good people are receiving similar notices…but if I can’t get into teacher’s college with those credentials (not to mention the fact that I’m a male, and the Ontario school system is notoriously short on male teachers these days) then I don’t know who is. Congratulations to those who did, by the way. I don’t want to sound bitter, because I’m not. I’m just bemused.

And therein lies another wrinkle: the fact that this apparent rejection hasn’t got me down at all is leading me to question whether I ever wanted to do teacher’s college in the first place. Part of me would love nothing more than to teach high school history…and another part of me feels my talents would be better served elsewhere. Where, exactly, I don’t pretend to know–which is why I think I applied to teacher’s college in the first place. But the fact that other people I know are literally incapable of talking about their own rejection from teacher’s college and that mine has resulted in a solitary blog entry and a mild bout of introspection has me wondering. I’ve also been reconsidering the thought of doing law school, a long-dormant idea that grows ever more appealing whenever I drive through Forest Hill or pass a BMW on the street and think to myself, “It must be nice to have money.” And who knows? Like I said, I don’t know how “official” this all is. There’s a chance York hasn’t updated its database yet…which would make sense, seeing as how my OUAC profile hasn’t been updated either. There’s also a good chance I’ll get into the University of Toronto–and going to OISE was always preferential to making that ridiculous hike up to Keele Street anyway. But for now, I’m going to assume that I didn’t get into York…and as surprised as I am at the decision, the fact that I’m more bemused than upset about it seems to be an indication that this might not be for me.

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