No, this isn’t a “damn, I wish I could have been at the original Woodstock!” kind of list…but still, having listed five songs I’ll forever feel privileged for having witnessed live, I figured I should balance it out with a list of five bands I’ll always regret not having seen. It’s like the Greeks said: “Everything in moderation.” Or was that Gord Downie? Whatever–here ’tis:
- Soundgarden. The highest-ranking band on my “favourite bands of all-time” list that I haven’t seen. They broke up before I really got into them…and since I’ve seen Matt Cameron twelve times with Pearl Jam, I figure that means I’ve technically seen them three times. (Song I’d kill to hear: “Jesus Christ Pose”)
- The Who with Keith Moon. Sure, I’ve seen a version of the Who three times…but I’m talking Live at Leeds era Who, where every show positively bristled with potential armegeddon. (Song I’d kill to hear: a fifteen-minute “My Generation”)
- Led Zeppelin. Right now Paul is looking for the nearest gallow’s pole from which to hang himself. (Song I’d kill to hear: Do I even need to say it? “No Quarter”, a.k.a. the 1970s’ most important contribution to the future of the species)
- Rage Against the Machine. In haiku: “I was going to go / But then guess who broke his leg? / My life partner Paul.” And when Paul wasn’t busy careening into opposing teams’ goalkeepers, Mike D of the Beastie Boys was busy falling off his bike and dislocating his shoulder, thus forcing their co-headlining tour with Rage to be cancelled and my tickets to see said tour null and void. (Song I’d kill to hear: “Know Your Enemy”)
- Mother Love Bone. Oh, what the hell. (Song I’d kill to hear: “Crown of Thorns”)
And that’s it. Man, these haikus are gonna have to stop…it’s becoming more cliched than rocking against Bush.