An Alternative Look Back at 2004

I’m feeling verbose today–which is surprising, considering how I’ve been chained to this desk the past couple weeks. But I’ve finished one of my major essays, I’ve got a good handle on the second and I’m a week away from seeing Bri…really, who could ask for anything more? In the spirit of remembering all that went on in 2004, I’ve thrown together a second “best of” list. Here, in no particular order, is a look back at some of the other things I did this past year. If you can identify anything that’s missing from this list, please feel free to add your comments.

  • Best Person With Whom to Move Block Freezers, Drive Them to Toronto at 150 km/h and then Witness Rescue Immigrant Couples Trapped Inside Upside Down Hondas: Kevin Du Manoir
  • Best Person to Care for You in the Event of Wisdom Tooth Extraction: Sarah Fleming (honourable mention: Heather Johnson)
  • Best Night to Drink an Entire Bottle of Red Wine: Charity Ball
  • Worst Night to Drink an Entire Bottle of Red Wine: Charity Ball
  • Best Time to Purchase a New, Pinstripe Suit: the afternoon before formal
  • Worst Time to Purchase a New, Pinstripe Suit: there is no such thing as a bad time to purchase a new, pinstripe suit
  • Best Person to Call When You Need a Quick Hem Job: Carolynn Beaty
  • Best Musical Revelation: Fight Like Gentlemen
  • Best Mix CD Made in the Attempt to Woo a Member of the Opposite Sex: Bri2Bri
  • Best Mix CD With Which to Riot: Songs to Riot To
  • Best Song I Would Never, Ever Have Heard Without the Use of Limewire: Marilyn Manson, “This is the New Shit”
  • Best Television Serial in Which Everybody is Related to One Another: The O.C.
  • Book that Pissed Me Off the Most: Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs (see: his chapter on soccer)
  • Favourite Sport I Learned from Hippies in 2004: Ultimate
  • Sport at Which I’m Most Likely to Score from Half: Indoor Soccer at Soccer Magic
  • Favourite Sports Columnist: Bill Simmons…I don’t see this ever changing, by the way
  • Best Paper I Wrote: I can’t remember what I called it, but I know I got a 60% for missing the point on one of the four required readings (only three of which I actually did)
  • Best Night to Skip Class In Order to Get Drunk, Watch the Leafs and Play Intramural Sports: the Tuesday where we discussed aforementioned readings in POLS 351
  • Best Excuse to Skip Class: getting drunk, watching the Leafs and playing intramural sports
  • Best Road Trip: Walking Does Kanata
  • Most Ill-Advised Road Trip: Pearl Jam in Boston
  • Best Road Trip That Resulted in Me Hearing “Alone” Live: Pearl Jam in Boston
  • Most Depressing Road Trip: Thunder Bay at Reading Week
  • Best Month for Binging & Purging: March 2004–four epic nights out, four different pukes in four very different places…it’s a good life until you weaken.
  • Worst Drinking Experience: Walkhome Exec Transition, at which I vomited into the Kingston harbour…seven different times
  • Best Drinking Experience, Except for the “United Getting Bounced from Champions League” Part: NHL Trade Deadline
  • Best Place to Sign the Shirts of Drunk, Horny Nursing Students: Johnson & University
  • Best Place to Visit With People Belonging to Germanic Religious Sects: Montreal
  • Best Place to Visit With Former Queen’s Orientation Leaders: Toronto
  • Best Place to Visit When You Want to Share a Red Carpet with Josh Hartnett and Claire Danes: New York City
  • Best Summer Job: Office Bitch, F200
  • Worst Summer Job: Office Bitch, F200
  • Best Place to Live if You Wanna Be Flooded With Raw Sewage: 10-227 Brock St.
  • Best Housemate to Live With if You Wanna Go Insane: Heather Johnson
  • Best Housemate: Heather Johnson (honourable mention: the idiots of 5 Birch Ave.)
  • Most Unusual Living Arrangement: moving back in at age twenty-four
  • Worst Thing to Do if You Don’t Know What it is You Really Want to Do: Grad School
  • Best Place to Eat When Stressed: New Gen
  • Best Place to Eat With People Belonging to Germanic Religious Sects: Le Papillon
  • Best Place to Order Large Double-Doubles and Chocolate Dip Donuts: Tim Hortons @ Danforth & Main
  • Best Place to Eat Wings, Drink Beer and Be Warned Not to Break the Heart of Former Queen’s Orientation Leaders: The Flatiron & Firkin
  • Best Place to Win the Heart of Former Queen’s Orientation Leaders: 53 Ted Reeve Dr.
  • Place I Never Thought I’d Go With a Hetero Life Partner: The Gap
  • Place I Always Assumed I’d End Up With a Hetero Life Partner: an English soccer game
  • Place I Wish I Weren’t Ending Up With an Aspiring Hetero Life Partner to Watch Exhibition Football in the Pouring Rain: Ralph Wilson Stadium
  • Dumbest Idea Involving Four Dumb People: getting Minnesota Vikings season tickets
  • Smartest Thing I’ve Ever Done, and Which I Now Realize was Smart: attending Queen’s
  • Late Season Dating Move with Rosiest Forecast: asking out a former Queen’s orientation leader
  • Quote of the Year: “There’s ten of them. I figure we can handle at least two each.” — Dan from Chicago
  • Wannabe Quote of the Year: “HOOKERS AND BLOW!” — Sherm
  • Saddest Moment of the Year: laying my grandfather to rest (honourable mention: dad telling me Chieftain had been put to sleep, but not until we’d thoroughly discussed the Manchester derby)
  • Happiest Moment of the Year: discovering that Bell long distance had saved me over $600 in a single month
  • Strangest Moment of the Year: leaving Kingston for the last time
  • Craziest Moment of the Entire Year: group hug following Owen Nolan’s overtime winner
  • How I’ll Remember 2004: as the year in which so much happened, in which so much changed, in which my life took at least two dramatic turns and in which I realized just how happy I truly am.

Happy New Year!


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