All Hail the…Packers?

If John Kerry (hoping/praying) wins the U.S. presidential election tomorrow there’s at least a 50% chance we’ll have the fucking Green Bay Packers to thank. Yesterday, the Packers beat the Washington Redskins 28-14. For now I won’t dwell on its implications on the NFC North race (in particular since the Vikings, bless ’em, got smoked by the New York Giants), but rather on its geopolitical implications. As I explained last week, the Washington Redskins have done a remarkable job of predicting presidential elections. In fact, the Redskins have successfully (albeit inadvertently) guessed sixteen consecutive election outcomes. Win on the last Sunday before the election, and the incumbent wins; lose, and so does the incumbent. The Redskins lost convincingly on Sunday; thus, if history is any indication, John Kerry will win the White House sometime tomorrow evening.

The Packers, of course, didn’t have the benefit of electoral fraud to help their cause, while George W. Bush and his Republican cronies have it in spades. What this variable does to the equation I do not pretend to know. What I do know is that I’ll praying tonight to the God who killed Abel and slew Goliath and begging him to do likewise to Georgie Bush. And if not outright kill him, at least banish him to a distant place where he and his accomplices can’t screw up the world any worse than they already have.

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